For over twelve years I was struggling to deal with the ramifications of my parent's maritial breakdown. I left it, refused to aknowledge there was an issue and was horrified and offended at any suggestion of therapy as if it were an indication that some thing was seriously wrong with me.
I reluctantly decided, after a small breakthrough with my dad, that the time was right for me to move on with my life and better the situation I was in. I "bit the bullet" and decided to go and see Patricia.
Before we did anything, I was able to talk with Patricia about my reluctance to see her and my aversion to
psychotherapy. I had pre-conceived ideas - especially of hypnosis- that I would have no control over what I would say or how it would come out. I was also scared about what might come up in the process. Patricia was very understanding and supportive of my needs. She took the time to talk me through everything I was about to do and really gave me the reassurance and trust I felt I needed
We began with examining my personality traits. Patricia has a good ear, and knew exactly where I was coming from. Her analysis of my personality (using colours) was spot-on! We also spent a considerable amount of time finding out why I had decided to come and see her and identified some specific requirements of mine, which we would address in the coming sessions.
Next, we started hypnosis. I was immediately surprised to find out that I actually put myself into a hypnotic state (with Patricia's help at first). The whole process was completely under my control.
Getting into a hypnotic state seems to be a very individual process, but the overall effect is one of immense relaxation, calm and awareness. Patricia was constantly at my side, giving reassurance and direction. She guided me rather than pushed me, through the process of free association. Free association allowed me to re-visit past experiences, acknowledge and work through them. I can only equate this process to one of "fitting the pieces of the jigsaw together".
There were times when I felt and almost re-lived very vivid and intense emotions. It was scary and very upsetting, but I had confidence and support in the knowledge that I was in complete control and Patricia was there to step in and back me up - providing support when I really needed it. For me, this was the hardest part of the whole process. As I was able to acknowledge these emotions, work through them and put them into perspective, things really started to improve for me. It gave me a great sense of calm, self-belief, and the power to change things I had previously thought of as being out of my control.
I remember with great clarity, a few particular moments that really stand out from my sessions with Patricia:
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Firstly, I actually visualized my subconscious mind. It gave me a great sense of well-being and connection with
my feelings.
Secondly, I was able to recognize the many different aspects of my personality (they were actually personifiedin my subconscious) - both good and bad, that I had not acknowledged and kept suppressed within myself. It helped me come to recognize the emotions that semed to cloud my opinion of myself and stopped me worrying about other people's perception of me.
Third, I had the opportunity to meet my inner child. A really important step for me, which gave me back my sense of security and comfort within myself.
Last of all and probably most importantly, I reached a point in which I was able to "talk" directly with my subconscious mind ( my "shadow" self ). This allowed me to bridge a huge gap in my mind that had been stopping me from reaching my full potential as a human being.
I started to dream again at night, something I had not done for many years !
I only saw Patricia six times, and felt no pressure to go into areas that I wasn't happy to talk about.
I have also learned ways of helping myself to overcome the daily difficulties life throws my way. I still have my ups and downs like everybody else, but now I understand why I feel the way I do. What's more is that I can actually do something about it now.
I am so pleased with myself for takling this problem. I'm now happy and confident in myself and I am establishing much better relationships with my family and friends than I could have ever expected. I'm gradually loosing the sense of feeling scared and intimidated by the world around me. It feels like a new me!
I now see life in a more positive way and I'm not afraid to get stuck in there and deal with problems as they arise throughout my life.
Thank you Patricia,
Thomas. Brighton. 2005.
